2012 going on to 2013

diving the great barrier reef

well its 3rd january and while everyone else is studying and things picking up where they were left off before christmas, i couldn't help but reflect upon the year that just passed. well you know these kind of things happen while you're studying.. always finding something to distract you whilst studying. 

To sum things up, 2012 was the year I began to discover myself. 2011 was the year of new experiences and i couldnt help but think back that i didnt really do much that year because of the transition from a hierarchy structure in the army to a civilian student life. 

For me, 2012 started off with me trying to forget 2011 and the stuff i put myself through when i entered the university in 2011. It was hard, but the distractions of travelling and the travel buddies liberated me. I returned to school ready to face it with upgraded armor, mana and stamina. The pace quicken drastically with the inter-hall games that made lag behind in studies. Many a time, I participated in 3 trainings a day after a long day in school and ended the day around 2-3am finishing tutorials. Although the body was tired, the mind was strong and i enjoyed those times tremendously. It allowed me to see what kind of bonds i've formed and distract me from certain stuff. 

School remained as challenging as ever but me being an Asian and not a Bsian [lol lame joke], hall remained a big part of my life then and couldn't help but thank the new friends i made there for making my life awesome. people who were 'dao' and cold became warm and friendly. I guess first impressions aren't always applicable eh!

Well, with my surprising first semester results (yea i never expected to even get half of what i got), i qualified for the university's exchange program and i was super excited! I managed to qualify for a british university and was thrilled! 

If you've been reading this blog, I'm a great fan of travelling and im a true believer that travelling opens up many opportunities of self exploration. I once heard a quote. The world is a book, if you don't travel, you're just reading 1 page. During the summer break, i travelled quite abit. when i thought things couldn't get any better, it turned around and dipped for the worst.

Summer was the worst time for me. my grandma was diagnosed with multiple organ failure from what we thought initially as a bad fall, she was started to lose weight and only admitted her to the hospital when blood started discharging where it shouldn't. It was a difficult time for my family, especially my mum. to make matters worst, i was due for a reservist high key course. not matter what i tried, i couldn't defer no matter how many times i tried and people i tried to go through. also, with the upcoming exchange where many things then, remained unsettled and the freshmen orientation camps which had to be neglected due to reservist, it made me rather frustrated too. 

I thought back onto my army days and asked myself why did i put in so much effort then when a little slack was requested by me after my service. i was an officer, an award holder who strived for excellence in whatever i did then. the army was was a people army and more attention should be payed to its servicemen. one trait that i learnt from the army then was the need to have compassion as a leader, then men under you will appreciate it and admire you for it. i tried to live by that when i was given the sword but i guess not every everybody thinks alike. i wasn't happy. i was angry. but i knew nothing could be done so i just sucked it up and gave minimum effort to scrape through the course. this was an eye opener for me and i doubt i'll give anything in for my unit anymore. My inner conscience screams to be the better man but i don't think i'm capable of doing that for them. sorry.

The pre-exchange time in Singapore was the hardest time for me. It really made me treasure my grandmother more. She had been there since i was born. Although both of us  weren't fluent in each other's language (she spoke teochew and i spoke english), i knew that she loved me. Whenever i popped by after my reservist to the hospital at night,i felt horrible whenever i saw the state she was in. There were times where she couldn't recognize the family. There were many needles and tubes in her because she couldn't eat nor go to the loo. It was a pitiful condition. My family decided not to opt for life support equipment or surgery because it was the end of the road for her and decided to let her go naturally. She pulled on till i left for exchange and her last words was that she loved me since i was a kid and if she were to pass while im overseas, do not come back and study hard. She passed 1.5 months later and i got the news while climbing a mountain at lake tegernsee, munich.

On a lighter note, as much as i wanted to stay on for camp...

to be continued after ive cleared some studying.....3jan2013, 1648hrs